Even More Drugs

Firstly let me start off by apologising for the amount of spelling mistakes in the last post!

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in what Im typing I never stop to check hence, scared suddenly becomes sacred.

Speaking of scared, when I saw Mum yesterday she said she was scared of going to sleep in csae she didnt wake up, but yesterday morning she was that bad she wished she hadnt have woke up.

The other day I took my son round and managed to keep him quiet with headphones and various things to watch on youtube. So we managed to stay for a while.

The dog farted and I thought it was my sons nappy, as I was changing it I realised it wasn't him but the dog. Mum managed to get up out of her chair and quickly waddled over to the window to open it.

Mainly now all the time that we are there she has her eyes shut, even sat up in her chair. Her face looks like the light hurts her eyes but when I ask her if she wants me to turn the big light off she says no.

We know she has lost even more weight as my sister said that when she helped her out of bed the other day, mums rings flew off her hand.

Yesterday the Macmillan nurse and the gp came again. They said she should be on the morphine pills like I said the other day and use the oramorph to top up. They have iven her codeine phosphate linctus to supress the cough as well as the steroids, the acid reflux pills, cyclazine and now anti biotics too to try and clear any infection on her chest.

They have arranged for a visit to the day care at the hospice for Tuesday.
When I went to see mum yesterday she told me it was 'tomorrow' (Thursday)
She seems to be getting confused a lot, and I know that my son touched her legs yesterday and she let out a cry in pain.
And I mean he touched her leg. Her skin seems very tender. I know my sister said that Mum was strugglimg to remove the cap from a deodrant bottle even though the top was already off and when she sprayed it, it hurt her skin.

I could only stay an hour last night and felt a bit crap because of the short visit, but then later when I came home I remember a conversation I had with mum a couple of weeks ago about she didnt want anyone moaning if they wern't there at the end.
She said she didnt want anyone upset if we missed it. Its not important.

Today I think me and my sister are going to try and work out some way of how to bathe mum.
One suggestion I had was my sons paddling pool in the front room, let mum stand in it and she can just sponge herself down.
This is the stuff we need help with...............How are we meant to do that, plus if mum isnt willing then what are we to do.

Guess we'll just have to see what today brings.