One In Three

Im happy to say that weekend was really good. I have attached a photo of my niece and Mum taken in the back of the car on Saturday night.

We all decided to go to Blackpool to go to the illuminations. Mum was very quiet most of the evening but she managed to have a burger in Macdonalds.

She has been feeling sick at the mere thought of food.

He cough has also returned but now being sick froth at the end of a coughing incident.

When she went to the chest clinic on Tuesday she was told that they could see something on her x ray but was too soon to be the cancer growing back.

Was more than likely to be an infection. So she has been given some anti biotics and see how she gets on, another 4 weeks and she will have another C.T scan, X ray and another appointment with the oncologist.

Its been a bit tough for me this week as I have my own health issues that could be quite relevant to the progress of this blog.

Ill give you a brief run down.............. When I was 17 (a long time ago now!) I had an abnormal smear, I was told by my GP that it was nothing to worry about and to go away "you silly girl"

When I left home I got myself a new GP, you maybe suprised to learn it was in fact Dr Shipman (yes the GP that bumped off a couple of hundred of his patients)

He repeated the smear and pretty soon I found myself up having laser treatment for cell which were CIN 1

Having many smears over the years, a lot come back normal, a few slight changes but then returned to normal.

Then in 2007 I was diagnosed with these abnormal cells again. Treatment was booked but then I fell pregnant. So treatment was deferred until I had my son.

I had a treatment called cold coagulation in October 2008 and had a couple of normal smears since.

I was told 6 months ago that the last one shown some changes but they hoped they would revert back to normal on their own.

After another check.......they havn't and now its looking like I need treatment again for these abnormal cells.

SO.................now I give you some background........On hearing about pending treatment on Tuesday, I seem to have got a bit down about the whole thing.

Statistically ONE IN THREE people are directly affected by cancer, thinking about our trip to Blackpool on Saturday night.....there were 7 of us in the car...........

I know that 'abnormal cells' dont mean you have cancer, but there is a real chance they MAY become cancer and I don't think anyone can blame me for being very wary given all my history.

I hate all the waiting............In the back of your mind you always fear the worst. I'm so sickenly happy at the moment I just waiting for some tragic thing to happen to blow it all apart.

I suppose that all this that has been happening to me feels insignificant next to whats going on with Mum, but maybe it has also given me a tiny bit of insight into how mum was feeling when they were prodding her all the time trying to secure a diagnosis.

Today though, I feel fine. On top of the world in fact. Like I can take whatever life might throw at me. Bring it on!

Cancer may have put a huge dent in my emotions but I REFUSE to let in ruin my life