A Mothers Kiss

Seems that mum is being sick an awful lot now, every hour or so.

The GP came and gave her an anti sickness injection last night and the syringe drivers are being fitted today.
These are little battery operated boxes, taped to the skin where the drug of choice (anti sickness or pain relief) can be put into and it dispenses it through the syringe at regular intervals.

We were told last week that we would know its coming to the end when these drivers are inserted. Of course now, knowing that this is happening today has caused a lot of distress.

The macmillan nurse did say to my sister that if mum stops being sick then they can remove the drivers. I think this has angered my sister. And I understand why. It feels like they are giving us false hope.
Without sounding like a pessamist I think this is it, the decline. There is no hope..........just one of a quick and peaceful end.

I have just spoken to my sister and Mum had a rough night last night, the sickness has continued despite the anti sickness drug so I think the drivers might be for the best.

Last night when I left, I said 'I'll see you tomorrow mum', she replied, ' make it soon'
I did something I haven't done, As she lay there curled up in her foetal position she seems to have adopted. I leaned over and kissed her head. I kissed it in the way I kiss my son's head. Like a mother. A kiss from a mother to a mother. She muttered, ' that's nice'
and low and behold, I cried.

I guess I kissed her knowing that if the drivers are going in today then she might be knocked out so when she was still a bit with it, I let her know how I feel.