New Year

I spent a couple of hours at Mums last night, and she seems more 'with it' than I have seen in the past few days.

Wednesday, she was really bad, My sister had text me in the morning to say mum had had a bad night and that she had rang the doctor. She didnt really know who she should phone so she phoned everyone, the gp, the nurse, the macmillan nurse. Sometimes it feels like we are just bumbling our way through this.

I went over to find Mum in a lot more pain which she said was in her lung. While we were waiting we talked about the possibilities of what could happen once people started arriving. I made sure she wants to stay at home, throughout all of this. I think its best to try and discuss things like this while she is still capable of making decisions.

The nurse came first, by the time she had got there Mums pain had subsided somewhat and had even managed to get some make up on, I swear she makes us out to be liars......... lol.
We worked out the last time she had anything to eat was a mince pie on Christmas Eve.

I had to leave before the GP came but he prescribed some steroids again to try and get her eating again.

At the moment these do seem to be working, she is eating tiny amounts but anything is better than nothing.

She had been falling asleep mid conversation up until last night. You could sit there and she would say something then go quiet, when you look over her eyes are shut!
When she is sleeping her cough is very bad so very disturbed sleep, maybe that and the combination of the drugs is knocking her out.
While she is dozing though she is shouting things out which are funny yet disturbing!

Like 'DO you want stabbing? Any of you thugs?' and singing.........Boney M!!! 'Ra ra rasputin'

I know a lot of it is to do with the srugs but bloody hell......Boney M? Where the hell has that one come from?

We have been given some cream which prevents bed sores. We have been advised to put on her bum.
Mum said this is everything she didnt want to happen.......I managed to persuade her to let me have a look and put cream on. It bothered her and she was embarrased, a lot more than I was.

We have decided that this should be my designated job! Plus it guarentees that I will go and visit every day.

I have been focussing on the wedding again really to try and keep myself busy, maybe it is a diversion from dealing with all this, but I feel better planning a future and looking forward to it rather than dredding what the future holds.

Personally I hate New Year and dont get it........at all. Its just a date on a calender, people use 'its a fresh start' as an excuse...........No its not....... If you really want to make differences to and in your life you start today, not tomorrow or wait for a new year to begin. Surely its the here and now that counts? You actions today will shape tomorrow.

Either way.............Im glad Mum made it to 2011. :)